Webdiary - Founded and Inspired by Margo Kingston

by Polly Bush

Polly's archive is here.

The last few months leading up to the eye-blink closure of Club Chaos seemed surreal.

PF Journey had sparked a Hair revival while spinning 60s classics at the jukebox, coincidentally gatecrashing Harry’s 40th harbour-side birthday bash.

Harry had naturally responded by agitating a generational war of significant proportions, complete with ripple effects - even momentarily deflecting Darlene’s attention away from orgasms.

Along with PF’s DJ-ing, the Club reached to the classics by examining William Shakespeare’s sentiments ‘If music be the food of love, play on’, analysing the sell-out factor of alleviating world poverty.

Well you can tear a plane in the falling rain                     
I drive a rolls royce 'cos it's good for my voice            
But you won't fool the children of the revolution 
No you won't fool the children of the revolution, no no no - yeah!

While juggling the roles of Resident Door Bitch, Chef, Agony Aunt and Super Nanny, Jack enforced Club Chaos’ Naughty Corner policy, blowing his umpire’s whistle to issue Marilyn with a red card.

Jack, the resident badboy-cum-Russell Crowe of Club Chaos, had decided to help Chief Bartender Kingo in meeting the ever-growing Club Chaos patron demand, as the Chief Bartender wanted more time to mix her own drinks.

I see plenty of clothes that I like               
But I won't go anywhere nice for a while 
All I want to do is just sit here 
And write it all down and rest for a while

Phil, with Terrence’s help, had built a colossal amphitheatre out the back of the pub, hosting an epic style Meaning of Life Olympics.

When not sucked into a PF inspired Leonard Cohen haze or engaging in small talk over the bar, Chief Bartender Kingo read correspondence from the rebels cum political terrorists seeking refuge from John Howard’s Liberal Party.

To top it all off, a technical glitch with the beer dispensing equipment spilt A Stained White Radiance across the bar room floor.

And so it was that later,                     
as the miller told his tale, 
That her face at first just ghostly, 
turned a whiter shade of pale. 
She said there is no reason, 
and the truth is plain to see. 
But I wandered through my playing cards, 
and would not let her be.

In a way it seemed surreal, but in a way it seemed completely in line with the typical chaotic goings on of Club Chaos.

That is, until the pub’s lease suddenly became an issue.

[insert dramatic clanging piano music … followed by a drum-roll … fade into the Divine Miss M … ]

I once met a man with a sense of adventure                           
he was dressed to trill wherever he went he said
"Let's make love on a mountain top
Under the stars, on a big hard rock" 

I said "In these shoes?
What is this, the Peace Corps?" 
I said, "Honey, let's do it here"

So we're sitting at a bar in Guadalajara                           
in walks a guy with a faraway look in his eyes 
He says, "I got a powerful horse outside
Climb on the back, I'll take you for a ride 
I know a little place we can get there 'fore the break of day"

I said "In these shoes?";
No way Jose" 
I said "Honey, let's stay right here”

Suddenly it was time for Club Chaos to wrestle the demons of embracing full control and the ghastly unpredictability of the unknown.

Fortunately the lease anniversary date meant patrons had been able to celebrate five great years of precocious and poignant pub banter around the old bar. The tributes were superb and rightly so.

Club Chaos humbly began as a one woman operation, with Kingo peddling a mobile beer dispensing glockenspiel, singing tunes about the mysterious goings on of life located somewhere between Sydney and Melbourne.

Over five years the Club had built itself into a community, and like all good pubs it attracted its healthy share of regular patrons, many who stayed on well and truly beyond last drinks. Harry maintained regular status even after his self-imposed exile.

In fact, if anything, last year’s pub renovations meant more people had chosen Club Chaos as their favourite watering hole, arguably for its broad and varied menu and extensive wine list. PF's noodle dishes were fast becoming popular, as was Phil's communion wine, David Roffey's climate enhancing substances and Craig Rowley’s Sobering Back To Reality Pills.

To suddenly uproot and take Club Chaos on the road to find a new home would be a mammoth challenge, and while many in the Club Chaos community seemingly embraced a Taking In To The Streets (TITTS) approach to life, whether the crowd would commute with the Pub’s relocation was always going to be risky.

Plus, the creation of a new kickarse pub meant the crowd would have to gather in temporary digs as the new and improved Club was built.

Yet Kingo had a dream - a field of dreams - that whispered, "if you build it, they will come".

the night is long but the day will come                                       
with promises for the chosen one 
salt the sea 
sweet taste the rain 
fall dead of night into the light of day

So in chaotic tradition, Club Chaos packed up its bags of essential items (a bean bag or two, Harry’s imported Cosmopolitan mixing ingredients, Polly’s herbal remedies, Kingo's Little Brother Hamish, Jack’s ‘Naughty Corner’ list, PF’s vinyl collection, the refugee family Marilyn was hiding in the attic, a couple of kegs and the Chief Bartender’s durries) and made a run for it, for the magical mystery tour was waiting to take us away.

Waiting to take us away...

"It's All Good" (Damien Dempsey and Sinead O'Connor, Collaborations, 2005 )

I am an angry man yeah                                                   
I vent it when I can yeah                                                    
on the bag, not the skag                                                    
the negativity yeah 
pushed onto young paddy yeah                                                    
is a shame, who's to blame                                                                                                      

And when the baby cries yeah 
she has been criticised yeah                                                    
been put down 
it's passed down                                                                                                                   

But it's all good it's all good                                                    
all I say, to you today                                                    
it's all good sure it's all good                                                    
all I say, to you today                                                                                                      
And positivity yeah, 
it is the way for me yeah                                                    
it is truth, it is youth                                                    
they try to keep us down yeah                                                    
they hide the high kings crown yeah                                                    
from the Gaels, Kathleen wails                                                                                                      

And to survive their sting yeah                                                    
you have to be the king yeah                                                    
grasp the wealth, of yourself                                                                                                            

But it's all good it's all good                                                    
all I say to you today                                                    
it's all good sure it's all good                                                    
all I say to you today                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            
Love yourself today
ok    
ok 
love yourself today 
ok?   
ok