Dear PM,

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Being a lad who Nature has endowed with a most simple disposition and unaffected simplicity (apologies to Francois Arouet), I do find it a little confusing that on one hand our mission in Afghanistan has changed from catching OBL (and his very small mob commonly known as the A team, I think) to fighting terrorism and bringing freedom and democracy (military style) to the hard working families of Afghanistan who have been brutally terrorised and dominated by the Taliban; yet those innocent souls who flee the evil Taliban, to the safety of our territory, are treated a little bit inhumanely, do you think?

In short, we bomb "our enemies" and then lock up or turn our backs on their victims, the very people we claim to be helping.

I'm confused.

Have you ever considered that sonnet by Emma Lazarus?

Kev mate, have your ever mused that this, the year of the Bull, would be an excellent time to spend a bit of political capital (think Christmas) – hey you earned it. Australians in general love you (but not that Mal guy – I suppose one must accept that it is impossible to expect that everyone will love you, but what can you do?) and your stock price remains at all time highs; well done old chap.

Go on Kev mate, show us your inner (real) man (you know, like Malcolm Fraser); be courageous (nope, don't drop your daks) and speak the truth to Australians. You do have the numbers to support the fact that overwhelmingly these poor refugees are just that – poor pathetic souls who have sacrificed everything and risked their lives for a safe and secure future for their children. Poor souls, not unlike us, who would probably be very grateful for our humanity and in turn strive to be good members of our community. A win win don't you think, Kev mate?

Politics is an "art" that exploits fear, as we all know – a weapon of the cynical who in turned are themselves motivated by the fear – the fear of losing office, and power.

Fear not dear Kev for you are destined for greatness; why not take the dilemma by the horns and show us you are not only an astute politician but a wise and humane soul – a true Christian; a role model for all those Australians who allow themselves to be manipulated by that Iron Bar of ignorance and stupidity. And to the many better informed genuinely caring Aussies, a true Leader with a beautiful and courageous mind.

Kev, I sincerely believe you could crack the most Noblest of Nobel Gongs, who knows? Anyway I'd vote for you and give you a big sloppy kiss as well – honest! – but you have to stop being frightened and just do it – OK.

Come on mate, take my hand and we'll hide over here in the corner and compose a most wonderful song of decency and humanity – then mesmerise and unite all Australians with your melody. And then amaze the world by actually staying true to the tune (shit hey fancy a pollie doing that); to the benefit of the common wealth and the Commonwealth. All you have to do is get the Tabloids on side, get them to repeatedly tell the people, dare I say it: the TRUTH – and the people will follow...mmmmm..that rings a bell – never mind.

Anyway mate, that is my dream – what's yours?

Cool chatting with you Kev and if you are over my way pop in and we'll share a Yanging beer or two – Oh f*ck, why not a sampan full?

Zai jian

PM (or "sh*t for brains" as my friends call me – and you're worried about your popularity).