Webdiary - Founded and Inspired by Margo Kingston

"...a gentleman is someone who takes his weight on his elbows"

O now you tell me.

Kath, even if I had been inebriated it would have been no different. In fact after two drinks I have no interest in sex whatsoever; alcohol does that to me, always has - it's the drug of communication not copulation. Though I must admit I am prone to being generous with hugs if required.

Yes, one could say that lassie was stupid. But if she didn't pass out would she still have been stupid or just another fun loving young girl out to have a good time with some respectable school lads from respectable families? I wonder who was buying her drinks and if she know how much she was given?

It is a sad reality that the mongrel few stuff it up for the rest of us. And it's a sad reality that victims are quite often made feel responsible or partly responsible for their demise.

Kath, one day soon you will see your daughter drive off with a fresh faced school graduate or tradesman or whatever, to a function or such to have a fun time. Let's hope if, for whatever reason, she passes out, her escort is not as stupid as the rugger buggers.

Kath, once upon a time diminished responsibility was the last refuge of (as Malcolm would say) the kiddy. If one can't hold their liquor then one should reconsider such a pastime.

What is a lady and who is to be the judge?

Many years ago I walked into the Bourbon & Beefsteak up the Cross. I was with two colleagues and they found a table while I went to the bar to get the drinks. It was early in the evening and the place was almost empty except for a lassie ordering a drink. I reached the bar and stood about two feet from her, and we both turned and looked at each other. She was beautiful, she began to smile, a sad smile then...

I don't know what happened but instantaneously we were in passionate embrace. Twas not I who initiated such interaction but I wasn't complaining. She was lovely.

My colleagues watched in disbelief, or so they told me later.

Now what was I to think, is this the behaviour of a lady, or a slut? My colleagues thought they had just witnessed the quickest pick up of all time. In fact they were pissed, really pissed; or so they admitted later.

I deserted my colleagues and spent the rest of the evening with a beautiful and vulnerable 23 year old girl who desperately needed someone. She was no slut, simply disturbed, but I won't go into detail. That evening we covered a lot of territory, punctuated by moments of passionate reassurance. I suppose she chose me not as a lover but her counsellor - this I quickly understood and played along as her most unprofessional psychologist.

I suppose if I was a kiddie I could have taken advantage of her physically and of course I had my mates, and the barman, as witnesses to her provocative behaviour. After all she had her tongue down my throat in all of two seconds.

But she was no slut, just a beautiful girl, from overseas, who was all alone in the world, she was lost, vulnerable and needed a friend. It was a stupid way of finding one but it does not necessarily follow that she was not a lady. Her behaviour did not warrant the disapproval of others, rather sympathy. Fortunately she chose an albatross and not a fox to share her loneliness with.

I learnt as a teenager (most) girls were not as they appeared and some did reckless things to get attention. Quite often it was not necessarily boys they wanted, but the approval of others.

"Those of us who weren't rugger buggers thought it was all very poor form, totally ungentlemanly but she was, by repute, no virgin. Nor is that an excuse but, where you place yourself in the way of harm, are you but an innocent?"

Pretty poor form indeed. I reckon there is no excuse for that sort of behaviour.

Me old mate Jack would have taken care of things as he did way back in '75. We where having a quiet chinwag in the pub when a young bloke (around my age) who had too much to drink showed (minor) physical disrespect to his lady friend. She didn't like it; neither did Jack.

Jack immediately let it be known this lad was no gentleman. The lad took offence and shaped up to Jack who appeared nonplussed by the aggression. Jack decided that it would be best if the lad simply apologised to the lassie and be done with it. The lad shaped up with a mouthful of obscenities. This didn't help at all because Jack had a thing about bad language and women being mutually exclusive.

What followed was glorious.

The lad threw a couple of pretty good punches but they connected with air. Jack simply nodded this way and that. His feet barely moved while his eyes stayed fixed on his opponent. The lad got a little frustrated and threw a few more punches; easily avoided by Jack.

It was about 10 seconds into the first round when Jack threw his first punch. A friendly little left jab delivered with brutal intention to the lad's snout. Claret immediately flowed everywhere. It was wonderful.

The lad was a little taken back by this turn of events but it did not dampen his enthusiasm nor did he modify his game plan. As such the lad went on the attack as he did previously and copped the exact same punch to the right side of his mouth. There was so much blood coming from the lad's nose it was hard to see what damage the second punch inflicted. By now the lad was beginning to lose heart and could see he had picked the real McCoy.

Once more unto the breach and all that. The lad had another go (maybe for his honour but most likely because he was stupid) and once again a short left jab to the side of his right eye - more claret. By now the lad was looking very sick indeed.

I reckon the lad threw around 30 punches, all missed - Jack threw three; all hit the target.

I love a good boxing match but hate a mismatch. By now I was feeling a little sorry for the lad and suggested to him it would be wise to apologise to his young lady for his ignorance. The lad obliged and quickly disappeared looking battered bruised and humiliated - just the way it should be for such clowns.

Jack was born in 1899. At the time he was 75 years old. Jack once talked about his days as a pugilist; sometimes you wonder whether people make stuff up - apparently Jack didn't.

The rugger buggers were simply grubs who deserved a bloody good hiding. It probably wouldn't do them any good but it sure feels good seeing mongrels get what they deserve.

To me it don't matter whether a woman has been screwed by one guy or a thousand; they are all ladies, and we should treat them as such.

Olivia, I don't know if your example of the girl getting raped by the taxi driver is a good one. Your'e right in saying it is a choice to get drunk and maybe if the girl hadn't been so drunk she could have fought this man off. However, surely this example also relates to the way men perceive women in Australia. Men should know that drunk women do not equal things to be manipulated.

Fiona: Welcome to Webdiary, Sandra.

:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

nouns/verbs....not a big call.....and, a long way from wisdom

Ask your daughter.

Frolicking bollocks taken in the more literal sense is something any Scot would appreciate, or not.

Not being a Scot I do not appreciate it at all; it just sounds horrifically flingy, in the highland sense, hehehe.

Does the world ever change? Reading my grandmother's letters to her daughter in 1915 about the war in which her son was fighting (later to die):

Oh dear, I don't know what the world is coming to. God must be so angry the wickedness of the world. Eating drinking and merry making, never reading their Bibles or teaching their children religion.

As for the Government of the day she had this to say: 

We will eat all the cheese we make for awhile, will save Dad going over to Kempsey, beside the Government has fixed the price of cheese now at 10 pence. Aren't they wretches? I see by the paper too the Government partly objects to women making shirts and singlets for equipping the recruits. saying it might interfere with the labouring classes getting a living,...I'm afraid there'll be no peace for our side until the masses give up their selfishness and become Christians in earnest dropping their drink and sports.

With such sentiments handed down the generations how could a lady dare to touch a drop I might ask? But at least now I know why I never took up sewing shirts or singlets. One would not want to deprive the labouring classes.

Grannie was good at hard labour herself and walked bare foot everywhere, thinking nothing of 14 miles to and back to visit her mother. Maybe that is where I also got my aversion to shoes from, as well as to the grog.

BTW: No Malcolm B Duncan, a certain party is not back on the dreaded drop and will not be until he can walk a straight line for a hundred yards at least.

Ian M (Ed):  Not only am I every day as shober as a judge, but I can walk as shtraight a line as any cop can. I resht my cashe. 

It would appear you've done it now. Cursing by proxy sort of. If I happened to be the word "frolicking" I would sue you, even if you are a frolicking bush lawyer.

Frolicking bollocks I say, hehe. Damn there's that mental picture again - go away - GO AWAY.

"John really gives a frolick"...verb = "give", "frolick" = noun, object of verb "gives"

"Mary doesn't give a frolick"   similar.

You need:  "John frolics" etc

I recently received a glossy begging brochure from the 'varsity.  The gender discrimination shocked me, in that the photograph of each  woman was enhanced by the inclusion of an engaging, cute animal.   None of the men, not even Chancellor Gavin Brown,  were given this advantage.

In the interests of gender equality, if no small animal willing to be seen with the men could be found, surely they could have been provided with a soft, furry toy, eg, a teddy bear?

Olivia, your opinion piece, (apart from talking about binge drinking) is throwing a tantrum and screaming for attention to be considered in the Gen-Y debate. Your entry that is. Not you.

The phenomena that you have highlighted is not the binge drinking itself but the attention that it is getting. The attention that every generation gets when they start to emerge as the reckless 20 something year olds of society. 

Generation X were scrutinised for being cynical of their predecessors - the Baby Boomers (...) and before that the Baby Boomers were scrutinised for being part of a generation all together. Literally, all together being collectively reactive to everything together.

Now it seems Generation Y are being scrutinised for being too drunk to be part of a proper generation. I mean really who are Generation Y? 

Baby Boomers are supposedly born between 1946-1964 with a clear cut off leading into Generation X which is between 1965-1981 and then Generation Y's were born between 1977- 1994 claiming some of the ex-Generation X's. How rebellious!

I guess some generations are ahead of their times. At least the other generations didn't get a washed up, recycled name from the generation before them.

Anyway Olivia, your point on changing attitudes of alcohol abuse is valid but another point that can be made in relation to the topic is that we need to be more aware that whatever generation we come from there is a generation that follows us and not every generation in their 20 something phase of evolution are John McVicars who need rehabilitation.

Alas it is too late to shake the Bad Boy image for Generation Y but we can shake the drink. 

N.B. As long as I can remember I have watered down my juice. These days I don't buy juice. I'd rather spend my money on a martini.

"I think they may be safer taking drugs. But then possibly they had done that as well."

Funny you should say that, Michael. I learnt very early in my drinking days that if one smoked a joint prior to drinking then one would drink in moderation, behave in a civilized manner, and still feel good.

Next morning, no hangover and no horrible feeling of what did I get up to last night, who did I offend and why in frolick's name is my memory so fragmented and do I want to remember anything anyway - ? We all know the feeling - with exceptions hey Jenny -but not Potomac Princess?

Anyway, best shut me beak wise I may be accussed of corrupting young minds.

PS. It would be advisable not to drink then smoke a joint. The consequences are usually unfortunate (as many have found out) unless, of course, you are brain dead or a stupid old albatross.

My attention is drawn to a letter to the editor in the SMH about this Saturday's Randwick Races.

I was there on Saturday and couldn't help to notice about a thousand or so young people getting plastered under that hot sun at a Lawn Party where drinks were included in the price and, it seems, unlimited.

Disgruntled of Randwick apparently runs a hostel next to the racecourse, where they currently host a number of well bred young gels from Malaysia.

The poor lasses were apparently terrified as hundreds of these kids staggered from the course, urinating and vomiting in their front garden. It was far worse inside, though. I think the ones who made it to the hostel next door were possibly the only ones still capable of walking.

Did I do that at their age? Probably. But I did notice an odd thing. Groups of guys seemed to arrive together as did groups of lasses. And they left in the same arrangement. Alcohol, it seemed, hadn't loosened the inhibitions enough to give them courage and approach the opposite sex - which is what we did in my day - it seemed to reinforce the akwardness of this Generation X, Y or whatever it is.

So my conclusion is that binge drinking is a phenomena of its own, and a quite separate social activity from Malcolm B's complaint about wowserism. Personally, I think they may be safer taking drugs. But then possibly they had done that as well.

Olivia, I think that the topic you have written about is very relevant, not only in Australia but also in other parts of the world. I myself, hailing from central Europe, have experienced how different drinking cultures affect young people. And though the culture (and laws) concerning alcohol may differ in Europe, the youth there will party hard, too!

It is important to spread awareness about the possible consequences the abusive use of alcohol can have (as it seems the Australian Government plans to do) but not to demonise the topic altogether. Young people will continue to drink and I feel that too much preaching can often lead to more rebellion than realisation.

Olivia, I will go along with all that. Coming from a long line of Temperance Movement adherents I never got to get with the grog. And the only taste I ever had, 30 years ago, was enough to put me off for life anyway. I simply do not see what is so great in the taste of the stuff. Give me OJ any day for a decent drop.

Now, having just ploughed through a few hundred letters written in the period 1910-1930, grog was just as much a matter of social concern back then. Descriptions of the drunkenness in the camps of soldiers headed off to the Great War take some beating, and I doubt it was just the fact that they were going to war that was the reason.

It was destroying families then, and it is destroying families now. As for the growth in youth binge drinking, well, I see that is a reflecting a breakdown in values in the society and culture generally, and not just in this country.

Greater affluence brings greater social problems. That may change now if the world slips into a depression.

OJ was a once a week or month treat when we were kids, of Depression era parents. Maybe the kids of today are in for a shock and withdrawal symptoms might be rather severe.

Even I have taken to watering down the OJ of late.

There is a vast history of wowserism bedevilling this country almost from the beginnings of settlement to the Sallies, the temperance movement (largely aligned with females) and beyond.

Journalism should be about reporting not about  lecturing.

Now, the point you make about the Italian (and generally) the southern European attitude to wine provides some balance but what exactly is a binge?

In mediaeval times, most people drank either brewed beverages or wine (depending on their wealth) because it was safer than the water.

You forget, however, the traditional English exploitation of alcohol: drunk for a penny, dead drunk for tuppence.  Google Hogarth's Gin Street (or was it Gin Lane?)